I love when my mom talks about her daddy. Her eyes light up like a toddler and she smiles like she can see him smiling right back at her. He passed when I was only months old, but she always tells me how much I’d love him, and I believe her.
I’ve always envied her for the relationship she had with her father. My relationship with my father was cut short when I was about 8 and he decided he just didn’t feel like being a dad anymore. Never quite understood why since my mom never chased or pressured him and I was an easy child- a quiet, straight A student.
Though his absence ultimately allowed me to create an awesome relationship with my mommy, it didn’t save me from feeling the void of him not being there. Girls need their fathers just as much as they need their mothers to teach them how to be a woman. My mom taught me to be a lady and independent and about boys and relationships. However, I can’t help but feel that I would’ve had less toxic relationships if my dad stuck around longer.
Throughout the years he’s made half-hearted attempts at connecting with me but I’ve pretty much written him off. As an adult I realized he was a toxic relationship. He’d get my hopes up just to let me down until I made the decision to stop allowing him any type of entrance into my life. So I guess in a way he did teach me about relationships, at least the bad ones. I probably would’ve dated less deadbeats or at least not given them multiple chances if my dad would’ve showed me better.
But luckily, I had other father figures in my life like my mom’s best friend, my God Father, my best friend’s father, and these men stepped in and showed me healthy relationships. They showed me that there are better men out there and not to settle or give up on love or a fulfilling relationship.
I can’t guarantee that any man will be a great father or even stick around to try. But because of what I’ve learned from the father figures in my life I think I have a better chance of choosing the right husband and father of my children. I can’t wait to see my daughter’s eyes smile when she thinks of him, just like my mom’s does when she thinks of hers.
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Skimpy 