20Something’s Guide to Halloween Shopping

Halloween is my favorite time of the year! No, like really. I’m the friend who dresses up every year, refusing to ever repeat a costume. And don’t you dare choose the same character as me. But as I’ve gotten older and adulting has become a priority, this year’s Halloween preparation hasn’t been up to my usual standards. But I still manage to pull something off, and so can you.

During our first few years of adulting we’re still figuring out how to jungle our time, efforts, and of course, budget. So I made a quick guide of tips for finding the best costume during your twenties aka struggle years.

Photo cred: Cosplaying While Black

 

Timing is everything.

Choosing your costume early definitely has its perks – like not having to scour through the slim pickin’s or ending up with something you’re not crazy about, and not to mention the craziness of the costume stores on the days leading up to Halloween. But if you’re not as set on your costume then there are advantages to shopping at the last minute. If you’re going to take your chances and wait, REALLY wait. Literally shop within three days of Halloween because at this point everything will be marked down as stores do not want to be stuck with inventory.

Get the most bang for your buck.

I hate the cheap, flimsy material of actual costumes these days, especially since many costume stores sell them for $60 – a billion not-gonna-happen dollars. But I do tend to splurge as this is my favorite day but my philosophy is splurge with purpose. Why splurge on a generic costume that half the party is going to be wearing when you can have a one-of-a-kind piece? I admit handmade costumes can start at over$150 BUT what if I told you there’s a way around this too? Instead of ordering directly from a seamstress, buy a second-hand custom made costume. If someone went through the trouble of getting/or making a costume from scratch chances are they’re going to do the same thing this year and I’m sure they’ve take pretty good care of it. 

Be practical.

This one goes hand in hand with budgeting. If your funds won’t quite stretch enough to spend on something you’ll probably wear once, don’t worry Cinderella, you can still go to the ball. Instead of spending $50 on a costume, build a costume from pieces in your closet. Bodysuits and dresses are great for sexy costumes. Grab a $5 cat costume accessory kit from your local drugstore, dig into you MUA skills and you’re good to go! For extra chic flair, add your favorite faux fur jacket or vest for bunny or other furry animal costumes.

You can also use your wardrobe to build a costume that’s a little more creative. Portray your favorite movie or TV character, musician or even time period. Turn that sequin covered New Year’s Eve dress from last year into a disco diva or even a 1920’s flapper. The options are endless.

 

Designed on Polyvore.com by user Meyli-Meyli

Have fun!

Halloween is supposed to be fun. Choose a costume you love and feel comfortable in because no matter what you choose your confidence in it will assure you many compliments and so much fun.

Who are you going to be this Halloween? Follow and tell us on Twitter!

Oh, and no clown costumes – enough children have been terrorized this year.

-Minnie

Follow me on Instagram to see who I’ll be this year!

Dear Old Me

Hey miss thang!

You don’t know me yet, but I’m Minnie. You won’t meet me – well the older, finer, nail shop regular, version of yourself for another few years. Yea I said nail shop regular, oh and you spend just as much on heels and dresses as you would on sneakers.

But anyway, your 18th birthday and high school graduation are quickly approaching and as excited as your are, you’re also saddened by how fast it all went by and terrified at the thought that college may or may not be as good to you as high school was.

Welp, you’re right. Well, kinda. Your 2013 class won’t be the tight-knit group of friends like 2009 class was, everyone won’t know you and your crew- hell barely anyone will know you, your sneaker game will be no match for the silver spoon kids at the private institution you’re entering  and you damn sure won’t be graduating at the top of your class. You’ll barely skate by your core courses, living off the philosophy that C’s get degrees but you’ll feel better knowing you’re breezing through your major classes and you really are getting the education and experience you hoped for.

While we’re on the subject of school, as it will be your life for the next 4 years, I want to give you a few pointers so you get the most out of those years and leave with a lot less regrets:

1. Apply yourself. Yea you didn’t come from a fancy, private high school, but you can still compete with these kids. Don’t give up so easily.
2. Have fun but don’t let the many distractions steer you off your path, even for just a moment.
3. Try to make friends. Yes you have a ton of friends at home and yes, they are a lot different from these people, but isn’t that one of the reasons you chose a school so far from home?
4. It’s OK to be different. Embrace it, but don’t get so lost in your “differentness” that you become standoff-ish.
5. When you go home for breaks, spend time with your FAMILY – not just your friends.

After school, life may get a little bit dark, especially if you decide to skip out on number 1 above. But remember, it’s temporary. No one sails through life without ups and downs. When you feel like you’re at your lowest it only means go harder. Use those emotions creatively to push yourself to get off your ass and on your shit. Trust me, if you don’t, in a few very short years you’ll look back and wish you’d wasted less time moping and more time doing. You have so many passions and talents so don’t sit around and let them go to waste feeling sorry for yourself. So my tips to you for that early post-grad life are meant to set you up for greatness, sooner:

1. Stop fucking procrastinating! I know it’s hard sometimes and you’ll still be reminding yourself this at 25 but the sooner you work on breaking bad habits, the better.
2. Go for it. Literally, just shoot your shot. Yea you’ve went through a ton of phases -some stuck, some didn’t- but don’t let the ones you feel strongly about slip away.
3. Everything does not and will not be perfect. You will make mistakes, you will fail, and all your visions will not come to life exactly as you saw them but you will learn and evolve and so will your products.
4. Be you. The you-est you, you can be because that’s what people love you for and that’s what’s going to get you to your dreams faster, and honestly it just feels so much better knowing you are the only one who can do you.
5. Be patient. We all thought by 25 our lives would be that perfect vision of career success, family, and all around goals, but let me tell you- your twenties are your building years. Plus I’ve heard your thirties are really the shit so just work and wait on it!

Well I know you’re busy so I won’t hold you much longer, but remember you’ll always be a work in progress. You’ll constantly be growing and changing throughout life but the important part is trying your hardest to make sure you’re changing for the better. You’re 25 now and I’d say you’re headed in the right direction.

Love,

Minnie

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Why I’m Single

It always cracks me up when people ask me why I’m single. Mainly because people say it like it’s a plague or something. “You’re smart, attractive, down-to-earth, got a lot going for yourself, etc.”  

Single is not just a relationship status or update on Facebook – it’s a way of life. Ask someone in a relationship what single is and they’ll probably tell you it’s a sad or a lonely period in between relationships. Ask the average single person what single is and they might tell you it’s a time of recouping after a relationship, or time spent finding themselves before their next relationship, or a depressing fishing expedition in which they just can’t hook a good one to feed that burning desire to out #relationshipgoals their old college buddy and his/her boo. 

Well, if you ask me, I could give that tired, bs answer about there not being any good men left, or how I don’t know how to find anyone I’m interested in and a load of other generic cries. But instead I’ll tell you how I view being single and it may help you better understand why I’m single.

Single is binge watching my favorite Netflix shows without interruption or complaints to watch something else. It’s choosing dinner without having to consider anyone else’s taste buds. It’s changing plans at the last minute without irritating anyone or taking as long as I want to get ready without the annoyed “are you almost done” every three minutes. It’s sleeping like a starfish in my bed every night and hogging as much or as little cover as I want. It’s going to my favorite bar every week and innocently flirting with my favorite bartender and getting half my drinks free without having to explain to anyone that it’s nothing more than that. It’s being able to casually text or meet my guy friends to chill without having to reassure anyone every five minutes that it’s completely platonic.It’s the freedom of not having to explain anything I do to anyone or worrying about how my actions will affect their feelings.
My twenties have really been my selfish years and I’m fine with that. I’m at a point in my life where I enjoy my time alone, my space, and my freedom. I’m experimenting and getting to know myself and the world around me. I’m still getting into my own groove and I’m not quite ready to share that dance with anyone else.  

So basically it all boils down to, I don’t feel like being in a relationship. I want to be single and I’m enjoying it.

Yes, I’m equally excited about sharing my time, my space and even my Netflix password with that special someone — but just not right now.

So dear guys at the bar, festivals, the store, the beach, in passing: I do not want to give you my number. I do not want your number. I will not call you. I will not respond to your text. I don’t feel like lying and saying I have a boyfriend. Yes, I am single and no I’m not ready to mingle.

-Minnie

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Gossip Don’t Live Here

Don’t you hate when everyone comes into the office on Monday morning dishing details about their weekend? You politely laugh and fade into the background hoping no one asks you anything.

“So, Melissa-”

Shit.

“How was your weekend?”

“Oh it was great! I caught some good football and enjoyed getting some much needed rest.” You are lying through your teeth.

In reality you spent Saturday at Henny Palooza reliving your college glory days. Sunday you spent the entire day coddling a bottle of Advil trying to sleep off your hangover and Monday you returned to Corporate America like nothing happened.

And that’s exactly how it’s supposed be.

I’ve been working in Corporate America for about a year now and if you thought college gossip was bad—wait until you’re thrusted into the latest office shenanigans. I found out rather quickly the older you get the more you’re inclined to gossip. You spend more time in the office than you do your family so it’s almost inevitable. Gossip never goes away, people just get older and find more things to complain about, crap to talk, and people to judge. This is why I sit in my cubicle with my headphones on jamming to Rihanna and Drake.

Most people probably think I am antisocial, and I am—at least at work. I believe there are boundaries of what you share in the office. Work is not a place to spew the tea about your personal life. Crossing that bridge allows people to pass judgment on you. Coworkers then feel they can pry into your life because you’ve allowed them to feel comfortable asking questions they wouldn’t typically ask. They have the ability to judge you on how you lead your life rather than your work performance.

Now your personal life has made its way to your office and has become messier than the ShadeRoom and your professional career is scarred at just 23.

I attribute much of the oversharing culture to the plethora of social media outlets. People do not know what privacy is anymore, or the value of it.

This is not to say what I do is absolutely correct. As I am pretty sure I get judged for being antisocial, but I would much rather be known as the mysterious woman who works hard and doesn’t socialize versus the woman everyone feels sorry for because she has so many issues.

I am still searching for my personal balance of being a little more open and keeping some details private. But each time I challenge myself to be a tad more open my conscious reminds me why this is a terrible idea.

So for now, I will stay inside of my little box and keep waiting for Rihanna and Drake to confirm this budding romance!

–Melissa

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Friend-snip

Every time #tbt comes around I find myself flipping through old photos and cracking up at how funny looking we were as kids. I remember all the fun sleepovers and even the schoolyard drama that seemed so important. I screenshot and send to my besties to remind them that they’re still stuck with my ass after 10 and 20 years (damn we’re old!).

We find ourselves laughing about the old stories that match the pictures. Next we’re asking each other “you heard from her?” pointing to some of the girls who filled the spaces between us. Damn. I never thought it’ll be just us left in the crew. We all were so tight back then.  

Some made it further than others. Dropped some friends when we changed schools in middle and high school, some families moved to another state, and going off to college knocked off a lot of the childhood friends. But it wasn’t until about the last 3 years that I really I noticed all my circles getting smaller. And honestly, I’m not complaining.

Even though breaking up is hard to do, I now understand it’s so necessary for growth. Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that you need to break off. Some friendships also need to get the ax, especially as you get older and find yourself. Holding on to that selfish mooch of a friend or the friend who just can’t seem to grow up and always leads you back to your old ways is just as bad as dealing with a cheating piece of shit you called a boyfriend.

Yet many of us don’t see it that way. Instead we hide behind the word “friend” and use the concept of friendship as a shackle that keeps us in those toxic relationships. We think that by cutting off people who no longer positively contribute to our lives we’re “selling out” or turning our backs on those people. We do actually care about those people and have that history so it sucks to see it end. Even hurts. But ending a friendship doesn’t mean you no longer care about that person. At the end of the day you have to always keep moving forward and if you’re tied to a sack of negativity you’ll never get where you’re going.

Another reason we’re so afraid of ending friendships is because we think it has to be some dramatic “fuck you, I hate you” scene and no one wants to do that, especially to their oldest friends. But it doesn’t have to nor should it be like that. Many times friendships fade naturally over time which is always the easiest. But if it’s not fading away on it’s own and you need it to end then it’s best to just talk to your friend and let them know how you’re feeling. Either you’ll both come to an understanding and end it or you’ll work it out and have a better relationship.

-Minnie

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Thursday Thoughts: Money Talks…

I was flying down the highway with my friends whom had just touched down in my city, headed to the other airport to pick up another when I saw smoke coming from the hood of my car. Before I could slow down and pull to the shoulder, the smoked flooded the inside of the car through the vents. And that was just the beginning of the longest pain in the ass of my life.

My first car, a 2012 Rio I nicknamed Storm, had given up on me already. I only had her for two years and during that time she was pretty stable, so when the mechanic told me my engine was blown, I damn near boiled over — just like all the chemicals did that night my car blew up.

Saying I wasn’t prepared mentally or financially was an understatement. I was growing irritated at the job I was working at the time, and wasn’t getting paid enough to really put money into repairing that car or getting a new one. I had previously made up my mind that I was going to wait until I can afford to get a new car that I really wanted but apparently that didn’t matter to Storm. She was done.

Well, fast-forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, I proved my claim with my insurance company and my GAP insurance took it from there. I was cleared of that car title and the loan, and had saved a nice little nest to get some better wheels. So off to the dealership I went.

The process wasn’t easy, especially without having my mom here for guidance, but it wasn’t necessarily hard either. It was actually exciting –like who doesn’t like shopping, or shiny new things they can call their own?

It’s basically a lot of decision making to get to the ultimate decision of signing your life away on those papers. So to help keep y’all from getting swindled by some handsome, fast-talking car salesman, I made a list of the things you need to know before you go to the dealership or car lot.

• Your financial status ie budget, credit score, etc.
• Buy, finance, or lease?
• Used, new, or certified pre-owned?
• Make, model (or at least body type), and year range
• Your must-haves ie. safety features, phone connection, sunroof, leather seats, etc.

After putting on my big girl pants and going through my checklist, I ended up with Mickey, my little red 2017 Mazda3. Safe to say I don’t miss Storm much these days.

–Minnie

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I got my first credit card in college. Initially I never swiped the thing because I was afraid of being like those women on the Tyra Show who were twenty-three and $10k in debt from senselessly shopping. But then the credit card companies started sending me more and more cards with greater limits, and of course I couldn’t say no. The more credit they wanted to give me the better for my credit right?

Right.

But oh how easy it was to ruin that good credit.

I basically felt like my life was over when I graduated from college and spent a few months being unemployed. Creditors called me asking for their money and all I could think about was Patrick in that SpongeBob meme saying, “I only got $3.” I did not have the means to pay back the debt I accrued and everyday I watched my credit score plummet. I was depressed.

So instead of moping about what I couldn’t pay,  I reached out to a free financial advisor in my area and spoke with them for about an hour on how to get my credit back into shape. To my surprise, she assured me my credit wasn’t as bad as I thought but it did need a little repairing.

She gave me several tips to help me get back on track that I want to share with you in case you ever find yourself in a credit crunch:

1. If you have missed a credit card payment or two and are going through a financial hardship it is best to contact your credit card company. They will work with you. But in order for them to help you—you have to help yourself.
2. You have roughly 120 days before your account is sent to collections. One missed payment is 30 days. Two is 60. Three is 90 and so on. If you are able to make just one minimum payment on your 119th day this will essentially give you thirty more days before your account is reported to a collections agency. Meaning you will be at the 90 days past due mark instead of 120. I do not recommend relying on this but I did one time and it avoided collections. We don’t like collections.
3. With credit cards you should try not to go over 30 percent utilization. Meaning if your credit card has a max balance of $2,000 it is best to keep your card balance at or around $600.
4. If I am ready to open a new card, before I let a sales representative do a hard credit check on my account I ask them the average credit score of someone being accepted for a card. If it is higher than my credit score I simply do not apply for the card. Hard credit inquiries, (if you have too many) can negatively affect your score. Average is about 3-4 inquiries.
5. Once your credit begins to get back on track, check it periodically to make sure everything is accurate. Your payments are up to date, that everything looks right, and the things you have paid off are no longer reflected on your report. Make sure this is reflective across all three credit bureaus: TransUnion, Equifax and Experian.  

If you are looking for a way to check all of your credit information check Credit Karma.This website gives you details about everything discussed. Happy credit crunching!

–Melissa

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Breathe, Stretch, Shake…Meditate

Moving back home after college was beyond depressing for me. For probably the first time I felt completely lost and unfocused. I tried to drown out my sorrows by partying but when the party ended I was right back to where I started.

So I did what I learned most in school, I researched. I read tons of articles about relieving stress, fighting depression, finding motivation — all that. Most of them told me to talk to someone but I’ve always been the friend who dishes out advice but rarely seeks it, so that was out. I figured we were all in the same boat anyway so what were they gonna tell me that I didn’t already know.

Another thing most of the articles had in common was exercise. I tried a few Zumba classes with my mom but it just wasn’t my thing. I liked the energy boost I got from it but I could do without the blood, sweat, and tears, because I rarely sweat and — just ew. But anyway, I fumbled through some of my mom’s old workout DVDs and found a yoga and pilates disc. I honestly didn’t know what the hell either of them really were but I saw all women on the cover with cute workout clothes, neat buns, and virtually no sweat so I figured this was the one for me!

Well, my sexist thinking lead me to completely underestimate the pilates ab tape — my cute little tummy and weakling thighs couldn’t make it through the first 10 minutes, let alone 30. And I was sweating bullets! The next day I forced myself to get over my fear of that perky little blonde on that dvd and tried a beginner’s yoga workout.

It was amazing.

I did sweat a little, but it was worth every bead. I started looking for more yoga workouts online and found a whole new world. I ditched the blonde that was all about fitness and found the instructors who focused on the holistic good of the practice. They didn’t just go through the motions of stretches, they explained how to do them correctly, why each pose was important, and overall became spiritual guides.  

I learned how to really connect my mind and my body, which filled me with light and positivity. It was like nothing I’d ever done before. I didn’t mind that it was still a workout, or that I sweat, or that my stiff bones were in pain sometimes because it gave me the mental peace I so desperately needed.

After on and off bouts with yoga practice and meditation over the years, I’ve finally found a way to make it a permanent part of my life. Since I now work from home and actually prefer to practice alone and in the comfort of my home, I’ve been able to commit to practicing at least three times a week and meditating at least once a week for 30 minutes.

Through yoga I’m taking care of my body while gaining focus, energy, happiness, and best of all, keeping my sanity.

-Minnie 

P.S. For those who didn’t know black girls do yoga, check this Instagram profile, you won’t regret it.

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You Can’t Buy Class

I don’t regret many things in my life but I do regret not trusting God and the process of being a recent unemployed graduate.

When I graduated from Syracuse University I accepted a position in technology. Everyone was shocked, being that every extracurricular and internship I ever had in school was in the sporting realm. My decision even shocked me. And for a long time I convinced myself I accepted the position to get experience in technology–after all my second degree was in Information Management & Technology. But that was a lie. I accepted the position because I was lazy and afraid. I was afraid of graduating college and not having a job. I was afraid of applying to ample jobs and getting rejected. I was afraid of all my bills I had to pay with no income. So I accepted the first offer I got.

If I could do it again, I would have went back home after college and took a few months to figure out what it was that I wanted to do. Apply to positions that I actually wanted and get acquainted with the interviewing process. But things happen and sometimes the plans we think we have for ourselves are diverted. And then sometimes you get a second chance to write your story.

Going to graduate school was NOT apart of my five year plan but it is now.

I was having a hard time getting back into the sports world even after moving to a less convoluted market. Literally on a whim one day I took off work and spent my day researching graduate schools. I made a list of about three schools and spoke to their admissions. I picked one school and completed the application that same day.

After I hit submit, I instantly doubted myself.

Was I really ok with accumulating an additional $35k in loans? Juggling a full-time job, an internship, and on top of that, being a full-time grad student?

Simply put, yes.

It was a temporary way of life for my long-term career goals. The cost of education became less of a thing when I realized the benefits I would reap from being happy my entire life–waking up to go to my dream job. And hey, I invested in myself in so many other material ways, why not invest in my personal growth?

Literally on the last possible day for Fall 2016 admissions I accepted my offer to attend grad school at Georgetown University studying, networking and finding my place back in the sports world like I’m supposed to be.

–Melissa

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Class-less

As acceptance letters and class schedules fill my timeline, I beamed with excitement and pride to see some of my closest friends get ready to snag yet another degree. Though I’m happy and proud of my friends, I don’t have those same goals. 

I recently considered taking online classes for my Master’s and I’m not convinced that’s where I want my efforts to go. Let me break down my thoughts on graduate school as it pertains to me and probably some of you.

Another degree looks good on a resume and comes into play when negotiating salaries. Going back to school, especially a different school than undergrad, opens a new network of people that may be great friends and even better connects in your field. Then of course, the learning and all that.

While that’s all well and good, there are other ways to get all these things without the debt, busy work, and annoying group projects. If I wanna network, there are tons of networking events in my area and I work with an organization that also connects me to people and companies in my field. And everything else (better resume, better salary, learning) can be gained through experience. I got enough of the books and basics from undergrad, everything else I’ve learned that has gotten me this far in my career came from experience.

Before receiving my Bachelor’s, I always thought I’d do the same thing my friends did after college- work a decent job in my field while getting my master’s. I even kept it in the back of my mind that I would go to Medill at Northwestern near Chicago.

I had always loved school, loved learning, loved reading, and loved writing. But by my junior year of undergrad I was burnt out. I didn’t wanna look at school, look at a professor, a book, hell I barely wanted to write and I was a journalism major.

Fortunately, I pushed through and made it out with my Bachelor’s as planned because there was no way in hell $200k in tuition was going to complete waste. Nor was my time and effort.

But things change. Goals change, paths change, and passions change. In addition to my career goals in my field I now also have goals outside of my field, so going back to school to learn more about a field I already work in is kinda pointless for me. Especially when my loans are probably going to top my current salary. At this point, you’ll probably only see me in someone’s classroom if my job is going to pay for it or requires me to.

But I know everyone’s situation isn’t the same as mine. If you haven’t had luck breaking into your field, making those connections and gaining experience, I’d definitely recommend going back to the classroom. But as for me, I’ll be spending my days on the clock and on the beach because the classroom ain’t for me.

–Minnie

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Thursday Thoughts: 20 Pains of 20Somethings

We work hard to bring you new content three times a week and with us both having full time jobs, it can definitely be trying sometimes. So in honor of the all new Skimpy’s one month anniversary, we thought we’d use this week’s Thursday Thoughts session to blow off a little steam.

So without further ado…Here are some of our biggest pains of being 20somethings thus far.

1. When it’s Spring/Winter/Summer Break but you still have to work…

2. When you wanna pop bottles on New Year’s Eve but rent due tomorrow…

3. You spent most of your life ignoring your mom just to find out she was right about everything. Every damn thing. 

4. Making sure guests only use three blocks of tissue to wipe their asses–tissue $10 a pack! Who knew you would have to add this to monthly expenses.

5. Trash removal–I thought that shit was free. Nope. You have to pay, and might I add I don’t recommend putting it in your neighbors bin either—you can get fined for that.

6. Finding out a degree does not equate a job. So basically you paid 50k for a piece of paper that says maybe you can work here…with five years of experience.

7. Hyperventilating once you see how important your credit score really is after you racked up all that credit card debt buying booze and club outfits. Landlords and sometimes jobs will run your credit score before they lease or hire you. 

8. When you’re a social butterfly but realize you have to keep your circle small and friendships intentional. You are who you surround yourself with. 

9. Travel often and to new places. No, not Miami, Toronto or Atlanta but out of the country. Experience the world outside of what you see on television.

10. The price of cable is too damn high!! Utilize your parents and friend’s log-ins like y’all do for Netflix. It’ll save you about 100 bucks a month.

11. Do not add coworkers on your personal social media accounts I don’t care how close y’all are. The workforce is every man or woman for themselves. They don’t need to see you slinging shots back at the bar, who knows, they might be your boss one day.

12. Better make them hairstyles last because ain’t no one got disposable income for new weaves or braids every month.

13. Moving into your new place and realizing you can’t afford furniture, so air mattress it is. 

14. Using your mom’s recipes and it not coming out half as good. 

15. Being old enough to make responsible decisions but young enough to still be getting told what to do.

16. Having to choose between having WiFi at home or unlimited data on your cell phone plan because you can’t afford both.

17. Having to give up “wasted Wednesdays” and “thirsty Thursdays” because you know your bounce back game ain’t as strong as it was three years ago and you gotta work in the morning.

18. Realizing that 2 shots at 21 doesn’t even equal a slight buzz but 2 shots at 25 is an automatic hangover. 

19. Hearing yourself say to your younger cousin “I remember when you were this little…” for the first time and realizing it’s the beginning of the end. 

20. Being asked about your plans after every “milestone” ie. graduations, birthdays, moving, making a big purchase.