Every time #tbt comes around I find myself flipping through old photos and cracking up at how funny looking we were as kids. I remember all the fun sleepovers and even the schoolyard drama that seemed so important. I screenshot and send to my besties to remind them that they’re still stuck with my ass after 10 and 20 years (damn we’re old!).
We find ourselves laughing about the old stories that match the pictures. Next we’re asking each other “you heard from her?” pointing to some of the girls who filled the spaces between us. Damn. I never thought it’ll be just us left in the crew. We all were so tight back then. 
Some made it further than others. Dropped some friends when we changed schools in middle and high school, some families moved to another state, and going off to college knocked off a lot of the childhood friends. But it wasn’t until about the last 3 years that I really I noticed all my circles getting smaller. And honestly, I’m not complaining.
Even though breaking up is hard to do, I now understand it’s so necessary for growth. Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that you need to break off. Some friendships also need to get the ax, especially as you get older and find yourself. Holding on to that selfish mooch of a friend or the friend who just can’t seem to grow up and always leads you back to your old ways is just as bad as dealing with a cheating piece of shit you called a boyfriend.
Yet many of us don’t see it that way. Instead we hide behind the word “friend” and use the concept of friendship as a shackle that keeps us in those toxic relationships. We think that by cutting off people who no longer positively contribute to our lives we’re “selling out” or turning our backs on those people. We do actually care about those people and have that history so it sucks to see it end. Even hurts. But ending a friendship doesn’t mean you no longer care about that person. At the end of the day you have to always keep moving forward and if you’re tied to a sack of negativity you’ll never get where you’re going.
Another reason we’re so afraid of ending friendships is because we think it has to be some dramatic “fuck you, I hate you” scene and no one wants to do that, especially to their oldest friends. But it doesn’t have to nor should it be like that. Many times friendships fade naturally over time which is always the easiest. But if it’s not fading away on it’s own and you need it to end then it’s best to just talk to your friend and let them know how you’re feeling. Either you’ll both come to an understanding and end it or you’ll work it out and have a better relationship.
-Minnie
Skimpy 