How I Learned Doing Things Alone Isn’t So Bad

I was making my yearlong quest from Rochester to Houston on the train when I randomly booked my first solo trip without any hesitation. I was scared but exhilarated and finally understood why God sent me to Houston.

Since my move down south I’ve been seeking clarity on what is my purpose in Houston. I’ve been here about seven months and I still haven’t made a solid group of friends. I just didn’t fit in here and often felt I was too different from everyone. Whenever I went out my boisterous attitude would always startle the “southern gentlemen” and my friends would counter their reaction by saying, “she’s from New York.”

I hated that.

So I stopped going out.

I began to isolate myself and I slowly turned into a homebody. I focused on my course work and actual work and that was it. When people would invite me out I declined generally. My idea of fun wasn’t the club or a bar every weekend or gallivanting around the mall. I liked to go paint balling, to sporting events, ice skating, posing with the statues at a museum and enjoying boozy brunches.

But I didn’t like to do those things alone – I suppose I was afraid. Afraid of what I would do with my hands when I waited for my food to arrive or how I would feel at the bar when everyone high-fived their friends during a game. The idea of being uncomfortable made me … uncomfortable.

I know everyone says nothing grows from comfort zones, but screw that shit. Some things required a group of friends to enjoy.

About five months in to my move I was still in the same situation and I wanted nothing more than to run back to New York.

So I did for about two weeks.

I began praying to God to divulge my true purpose in Houston. It wasn’t until I ironically felt bogged down by the energy of my surroundings and just being in New York that I had an epiphany. I finally realized why God sent me to Houston.

I figured out my purpose.

I had to learn to focus on me, be selfish with me, but most importantly learn how to be independent. I had spent six months in a city prejudging it because I was alone, the people were not like me, my lifestyle didn’t align with most others, but honestly so what. This is literally the story of my life no matter my physical location. But now I wanted to be in charge of how it played out. 

 

There is a growing club of us who let the fear of the unknown or being alone deter us from our potential.  And no I don’t mean living alone, going to a new university without friends or being alone when you don’t want to be bothered, but literally alone and I was the president of this club.

But not anymore – when I was back at home I saw so many of my friends still trying to put their young lives together, move out of their parents houses, find work, or put a start to their careers and I realized I was blessed beyond belief—I’ve conquered those things and elevated that self-discovery while in Houston.

So when I finally arrived back in Houston the first thing I did was smile when I walked into my apartment. I sat on my couch, opened up my laptop booked solo yoga classes, signed up for swimming lessons and hey I am even taking a stab at getting my license again because sometimes you are in it alone and that’s ok.